For Guys: If you like her, tell her. But ...

If you like a woman, make sure to tell her, but you also need to be sure that you really do like her before you say anything. And when you do, make sure you leave no doudt in her mind about how you feel. Make sure she knows that she is the only girl that you care for in that way.

Why?

Women have a way of convincing themselves that a man is only being nice to them and he doesn't really like them. We need to hear it loud and clear and often. Very often.

Things like flowers, chocolates, spending time with her. If you know the girl you know what will make her feel special and if you dont know what makes her feel special, you need to get to know her better. Don't tell her until you are certain that you really like her.

But...

Make sure that is the truth. Be honest with yourself. Think about it long enough to be really honest with yourself. Pray about it. Don't just jump in if you are unsure. It may not be rocket science, but it is important where hearts are involved.

In terms of spoiling her, you don't have to do this everyday, but make sure to make time to make her feel special. Set a reminder on your phone, Google fun date nights the options are endless.

The point is that a romantic relationship is kind of like studying for a degree. You need to start with the easier subjects first. Dating and taking time to get to know each other and make each other feel special is really dating 101. It sets the framework for a strong relationship.

But more important than placing your focus on the other person, is placing your focus on why you treat them the way you do. As a Christian, my reason for trying to treat others well, is to glorify God. I was created to glorify Him in everything that I do.

Why then, is your relationship with a woman important? Because He is also a relational God. This means any and all relationships are important to Him.

And that is why you should make her feel special and get to know her. Because she is important to you, but she is also important to God. How you treat others say a lot more about you, than it does about them.

For more on how to treat each other well, consider reading the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. Or take a look at his website www.5lovelanguages.com. The important thing is to keep the love tank full! ;)

Just the beginning

Time has gone by so fast this past year. I started thinking differently about my life, how I spend my time and who I spend it with.

I have read many books, listened to many sermons, prayed and cried on this journey. I would not trade one second of it for a chance at doing it differently.

The Lord has taken me on a journey of self discovery and I have become aware of certain trends and habits of young women in terms of dating and relationships.

But every beginning implies that something else ended. There can be no beginning without an end. The ending that started this new beginning was my previous relationship. This ending taught me that the duration of your relationship does not determine your time of healing/mourning. The depth of your relationship determines the time needed to heal what has been broken, to undo what has been changed, to take the steps towards finding the pieces of yourself you lost along the way.

This ending also taught me that the pieces of yourself you do find, may be changed in themself. In essence you wil not be the same as before. Never again.

For the most part I believe that allowing yourself to be changed by an experience or relationship is good. On the condition that the change brings you closer to God and shapes your character more according to His will. Sometimes however, it is good to have some distance in your relationship with God, as it gives you the opportunity to appreciate His movements in your life in an entirely different way.